Why SOME Zim girls end up dating non-Zimbos
Ladies let me halla at you right quick. The other day i was having a very enlightening conversation about a particular type of Zim girl we are finding out here in the diaspora. The boys were talking about why some diaspora girls are almost always a headache to deal with. Now i have no gwans with a woman's freedom to act whichever way she deems legit because unless it's my girl it's definitely not my problem... but i do have an issue with the fact that so many times when i hang with homies from Kenya, Nigeria etc and we happen to be comparing 'our women' when it comes to Zim chicks the reactions are priceless; 'Zim chicks mmmmmm those girls are dangerous!', 'What i have seen some of these Zimbabwean girls do?!' Reputation munayo askana.
A few years back this (once) homegirl of mine found her way out here and i saw her drunk for the first time a couple of weeks into her stay. It puzzled me. Back home she was the kind of girl every dude wanted; intelligent, well-mannered, she took care of herself well (and her boyfie too). Add to that she was a respectable church girl. Naturally it didn't make sense to me seeing her in a skimpy outfit with a bottle of Smirnoff Ice. We talked. She asked me why i wasn't drinking. I told her it wasn't my thing and she literally laughed. You know when someone laughs at you like you have just done the most ridiculous thing ever? Then she said, 'Iwe, fara shamwari zviya zvanga zviri zvekuZimbabwe, this is the diaspora hakuna vanaMhamha kuno.' I could not believe it and i was disappointed in her. She represented the mindset of a good chunk of our sisters when they get here. They change... a lot.
My top 2 reasons why:
Becoming too independent at a fragile stage in life - Barely a year out of high school and daddy sends them thousands of miles away. The problem with some of these youngns is at that stage where they need someone to be casting a watchful eye, they are free as a bird. The transition from being mwana waMr Nhingi to an independent and self sufficent someone akazvimirira is not easy. The peer pressure, need to impress, experimental phase and downright stupidity are a poisonous concoction. When you begin to formulate strong opinions nothing else matters other than what you think, lest you be wrong, everything else should.
Misconstrued sense of freedom - back home, girls can get away with this and that, sure, but it takes a hell of an effort so a good number simply don't bother. An environment can influence you to act right or WRONG. Our cultures differ with those out here... big time. 19 year old girls from here are on their 6th sexual partner, that's not us. They are cool with that. In Zim you are clearly a hoe, unoda zvinhu, uyathanda izinto. Females being drunk out of their mind, falling down stairs the 3rd night in a row is okay for them. Not us. In Zim you have lost your way, hauna kutsiga. People don't forget that sh*t. You can't always do what you want, it's not necessarily the best thing for you. People see, people talk.
So in the end after doing all the crazy things your mama told you never to do, you hook up with that Zim guy. You put on your sweetest act because he seems decent. You sleep with him. He sleeps with you. After a few months/years he decides you are not the one for him as he so happens to have the inside scoop on your very colourful 'history' (he definitely won't tell you that reason though). You catch a fit. You tried to pull a fast one on him to get him to put a ring on it but he was a step ahead the whole time. Instead he pulled a fast one on YOU. Now you are pissed. Automatically he is the a**hole, after all you have done for him. I won't lie, Zim guys tiri mapenzi and we do that more times than girls realise. We can dagger you regularly fully knowing that we don't want it to go anywhere 'this' is going nowhere and we act like we are in it 100%. We are a**holes like that.
Why? Because we know...
Zim guys know their Zim girls saka twumaTricks and mannerism twenyu which other nationalities and races can't notice, WE DO. You can hide it for a while but not forever. We know it and how to detect it. We know the types that sleep around. We know those club hoppers that are drunk week in week out. We know those that just want handouts from a man because isimbe. We know those that don't wanna cook. We know those that use church to prey on unsuspecting brothers. We know girls that think because now they are on that nursing salary they are better than any man out there. We know when they are faking to be wifey material. We don't want them. That's why these used up items end up playing the 'Zim guys havaite' card. THEY KNOW THAT ZIM GUYS DO NOT TOLERATE THAT NONSENSE WHEN IT COMES TO A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP. Non-Zimbos don't ask and prolly don't care but Zim guys are wary of ending up with someone who will make married life hell. Then those girls have no choice but to look elsewhere. We know.