Insecurity - Butts, Boobs and the lot
The other day TEAM KUNAKIRWA was on that tweet hype and we were having an interesting discussion about the flyest women in Africa.
Now, that as the general story, dudes were justifying their reasoning behind who they rate. One distinct quote from some Southern African individuals; "No booty? No thank you!" And of course we all know some girls without ass wouldn't be too happy about such a proclamation, which is fair... i guess. No pun intended. One particular member of the League of Extraordinary Twimbo Women shared 3 tweets that i feel need to be addressed concerning women in general.
1. "But hanti mati with Zim men it's 'no booty no thanks', saka isu vetuma smallaz toita sei?"
This highlights a problem with the thinking of a good number of women i know. You meet 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 maybe even 7 dudes who like booty and you graduate that to 'All Zim men want booty so where does that leave the rest of us not so well endowed women?'. Please be serious. There an estimated 5.8 million of us homeboys. 5.8 million damn it! 7 opinions do not and cannot accurately reflect the whole population perception. Like i said, please be serious.
Of things i respect men for, one is being able to compete regardless of who, what, where, when or how the next nigga looks. I'm yet to come across any man on that 'If i had a 6 pack like nhingi i would fair much better with girls' tip. Me, short, chubby, dark, with my beer belly have no problem fancying my chances with the ladies because apparently Panashe the Personal Trainer and his rock-hard 6 pack are around or maybe because Nwankho the Naija and his Audi are in the hood. But with women eish.... you get big women who quiver when that pretty size 8 with her seemingly flawless figure walks into the room or petite women who just shrivel up in a corner because a curvy size 12 arikuzadza that body-shaping dress is turning heads. See what i mean? Either way, someone, somewhere has a feature that you might regard as 'better'. Shamwari, that body you have is YOURS kubva kubvudzi kusvika kunzwara dzemumakumbo. What you got is what God gave you so work it! Otherwise you are slowly signing up for things like depression > anorexia > bulimia. Serenity Prayer.
2. "Varume vanofurira weduwe! Most women who undergo surgery kuda kufadza varume!"
In the simplest terms this is what we call 'low self-esteem'. A classic example of a woman who has issues with herself that have been planted in her mind for years and years and years but uses men as a fallback. If the man you are with does not quite like how you look, DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME TRYING TO BECOME WHAT YOU CAN NEVER BE TO HIM. How, again, do you knowingly stay with a man who doesn't even appreciate you? That man is using you for his selfish needs because he knows you are gullible like that. Part of that is your fault - for letting him. If you are 18 and know no better, fine, you are excused for being silly (you WILL learn) but if you are 29 and still jumping through hoops doing unrealistic things 'kuda kufadza varume', you need help. You are exhibiting more of fragility than initiative for progress. Some women need to start claiming ownage for such issues instead of blaming men for them. JUST BECAUSE A MAN DOES NOT LIKE YOUR BODY, IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU SHOULD NOT!
In some serious cases that get to this surgery stage it might not be mhosva yevarume after all. There is a disease for that you know. It's called BDD. I took the liberty to google some background info for you:
"Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) is a psychological disorder where a person is preoccupied with minor or imaginary physical flaws. BDD usually develops in teenagers, a time when individuals are most concerned about the way they look to others. It has been suggested that teasing or criticism regarding appearance could play a contributory role in the onset of BDD. While it is unlikely that teasing causes BDD, likewise, extreme levels of childhood abuse, bullying and psychological torture are often rationalized and dismissed as "teasing", sometimes leading to traumatic stress in vulnerable persons. Similarly to teasing, parenting style may contribute to BDD onset; for example, parents who either place excessive emphasis on aesthetic appearance, or disregard it at all, may act as a trigger in the genetically-predisposed. A person with BDD tends to have cosmetic surgery, and even if the surgeries are successful, does not think they are and is unhappy with the outcomes. However, many patients suffer for years before seeking help."
Seek help. I urge you.
3. "This other girl wants to enlarge her butt coz aneta nekuti all the guys she's been with cheated on her with bootylicious babes! Pressure!"
This one is just as bad as 'Guys don't like me because i have small boobs' or 'Men will only start approaching me if i get to a size 8'. Refer to the first point. Hearing a woman say that irks me but it's way too common right now, some ladies need to get a grip. A woman's worst enemy is her own mind. In this scenario, that girl is blaming her own body for a cheating man's conduct. It's in her mind i said. Excuses. That 'if i could just lay it on him a bit better he would never leave me' mentality. No my dear, you are very mistaken coz homeboy is just an a**hole. That man just dogged you out and all you can think about is that it's your small booty's fault? And a huge booty brings mysterious bonuses like the capacity to steal other people's men. Yea, sure. Tell you what? After getting butt implants next homeboy prolly will leave you for a girl with a smaller, petite body. Then what's next for you? Ref:- BDD.
Most members of VLAZ (Vagina Lovers Association of Zimbabwe) i know will agree that a woman with a low self esteem, no matter how fine, is a huge turn off. Why would i want to be with a woman who is always praising the next girl for having a bigger ass or bigger tits than she does? It's annoying and quite putting off. At the same time, you yourself will most likely always feel 'beneath' other females and even people in general. Then when you wonder why guys 'don't like you' the truth eludes you. It's not your body, it's that vibe and negative aura you carry above your head the whole damn day. It's not invisible.
Every man will have his preference of the kind of woman he is attracted to physically and you prolly fall in a few million dudes' bracket as much as the next girl. Sure, hit the gym and all, you can make some reasonable adjustments if need be but don't get carried away with it. LOVE YOURSELF!